Kabir Singh: When we were little, we were told that blockbuster hit Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was the best love story ever. And we started swooning over the love they shared, romanticizing over story they had and fangirling over the hero who made us weak in our knees. But at the end of they day, it was a movie about a girl transforming herself into an ‘ideal bahu’ for a suitor.
Then we watched the perfect U/A family film. The Baghban; the movie that broke the theatre and exhibited the image of an ideal loving family. But again as every other movie of Bollywood, it was free from the Indian roots of patriarchy. Father is the head of the family who always sits on his reserved chair on the dining table. And woman of the family sits at home waiting for her husband to come home and cook food.
I am not here to condemn these movies. After all, the patriarchal scenes somewhere reflect the Indian reality.
“It’s not the movies that should be condemned, it’s the culture that allows these movies to be glorified”
“Whatever, people are not going to be affected by these movies. I did not started doing violence because movies showed violence “. That’s the point of contention cited to justify the abusive relationship in Kabir Singh.
Kabir Singh: It’s just a movie
No it’s not. You might be political and conscious enough to differentiate between right and wrong. A movie and reality. But there are some who are not. And when those ‘some’ hear the applauding in the movie halls, they think it’s okay. Especially in the Indian context.
Where women in abusive relationships have long been told to bear it as a part of ‘compromise’ every woman is supposed to make as her duty as wife.
A love story is something we all wish for. A world where movies and books drew for us the mental image of a perfect guy and perfect love story. But never taught us consent. I grew up thinking that unexpected kisses were romantic. Because that’s what the books I read told me. ‘Ranjahana’ told us that being persistent in asking a woman who told ‘ No’ 50 times is going to fall in love with you when you ask for the 51th time.
we applaud a movie that condones violence, we tell ourselves that what happened there was okay, that there was nothing wrong with the love story because its just a movie after all. But it’s not only the movies that reflect our reality. It’s also the movies that are reflected in Indian reality.
Don’t tell me that that’s what character Kabir Singh demanded. Your character beat the villian to the pulp and we all cheer for him. Your character slaps his girlfriend and tells her ‘tu hai kya mere bina’ and she still wants go back to him and we all call the love story heart touching.
“Is it so difficult for us to imagine a love story without violence that we applaud a reality of woman being stalked, being restricted by patriarchy and controlled by a man ?