Don’t pressure your Child
Why do parents desire success for their kids as much as they do?
Of the ills that plague us; the business of aspiring for trophy children is the amongst the most tragic and perverse.
The kid grows with a chip on the shoulder, poor self esteem, a deflated sense of self in general and wants to succeed at all costs – sometimes at the expense of the means for the end.
The kid grows up feeling unworthy of parental love if she doesn’t succeed.
This is brutal because love becomes a function of what is mostly an accident – success.
Imagine the greatest gift that the human experience has to offer being held to ransom by the most irascible of impostors.
Even as adults, you feel chronically deficient, continue looking for approval. And the feeling of unworthiness never really goes away even when you know better.
Wanting to please others, guilt tripping and internalized shame are constant bed fellows.
Don’t pressure your Child
Where you successfully manage to look beyond the goal posts for yourself. You still want to achieve success to make someone else ‘proud’.
Becoming ‘proud’ of a child when they achieve something is to do an utter disservice to the individual, the achievement and the relationship that you share with them.
Be proud of who the kid is choiceless-ly and you will likely find that the child excels in life, is intrinsically motivated and has an all-round gangsta sense of self in general. Not because he ‘needs’ to prove something but simply because he ‘wants’ to.
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